The Shy Person’s Guide to Sex Toy Purchasing

For many folks, purchasing a sex toy (gasp) in person is daunting. But it turns out that shopping for sex toys is just like going to your local corner store, minus the dildos. Plus, it’s a lot better (and safer) than purchasing on the internet.

Here’s a great guide for a sex toy shopping binge if you’re interested but shy.

The sensation is a good way to narrow it down.

If you’ve never bought a sex toy before, think about “what kind of sensations you appreciate and how you want to use a sex toy,” says Claire Cavanah, co-founder of Babeland in New York. “If you’re looking for a vibrator, do you like internal or exterior stimulation, or both at the same time?” for example. Is it good to be thick or thin? “Smooth and straight for the G-spot or curved for the G-spot?” So, decide where you want it to go and how you want it to feel.

Megan Church of Austin’s Forbidden Fruit provides her potential customers with the same advice. “Think penetrative,” Megan suggests if you’re interested in penetration. She notes that narrowing it down makes it “a lot less onerous than staring at a full wall of items.” Because most stores are organized in this way, having a specific sensation in mind can lead you straight past that goliath dildo giving you the stink eye, and into a department that won’t turn your face red.

On the internet, you can get a head start on the game.

You can read sex toy reviews online if you’d rather take a toe in the water before plunging in. However, don’t Google “dildo.” “There are many ways to study purchases if you’re the type of buyer who likes to do so. According to Cavanah, “customer reviews on retail websites like Babeland and user reviews in media outlets [may] offer you an idea of the virtues and experiences of others with certain toys.” “You can also look for blogs that review sex toys on the internet.”

However, product descriptions and ratings can be as subjective as sexual tastes. “The terms soft,’ ‘hard,’ ‘large,’ and small are all relative,” Church points out.

Please DO make contact.

Have you seen something intriguing but aren’t sure? Don’t be frightened to pick it up and try it out (with your hand!). Just on your hand, for the love of God!). One of the numerous benefits of swallowing your pride and shopping in-store rather than online is that many stores have test items on display that may be rubbed. Go ahead and scavenge! With your hand once again.

Consider the content.

If you’re a little neurotic (like me) or half-Jewish (like half of me), you’ll want to know what these things are composed of before you put them in and around your body. Glass, wood, metal, hard plastic, jelly (rubber and PVC), and silicone are the six basic materials used to make sex toys. Depending on your preferences, each material offers its own set of advantages.

“Dildos are made of glass and wood, which are non-porous, easy to clean, and recyclable!” Cavanah continues, providing yet another method to annoy your waste collector. “The toys are incredibly gorgeous, and the unbending qualities of both of these and steel make them perfect for G-spot or [prostate] stimulation.”

Remember that various materials require different maintenance, so ask about cleaning and care recommendations to avoid a Broad City scenario.

No one will judge you for liking butty things.

Babeland and Forbidden Fruit, both sex toy stores, are safe havens. When I bought a vibrator, I felt less judgmental than when I was in therapy. So, whatever you’re looking for, it’s fine to tell them about it; that’s their job.

“Everyone deserves helpful, informed, courteous, and nonjudgmental customer service when purchasing a sex toy,” Cavanah says. This is what Babeland was established on and for which it has won honors. Many stores have earned that reputation; help them out!”

The Church concurs. “Walkout” if the personnel doesn’t talk to you or appear personable, she advises.

Being evasive could lead to disappointment once you get the gadget home. I mention anal play since not all toys can be thrown into any hole randomly. Church informs me that someone damaged her Rabbit (a vibrator/dildo combination toy) because it wasn’t made to endure the force of the human sphincter: “If it’s phallic, people attempt and shove it in their butt.” So, if you’re looking for some backdoor action, make sure the toy is designed for that. I’m more worried about you breaking anything else than you breaking the toy.

Inquire about what’s hot, but don’t buy simply on the hype.

Sex-ed was 20% what a strange lady who smelled like patchouli and cats came to talk to my third-grade class about and 80% Sex and the City. The performance was also responsible for the rise to prominence of the illustrious Rabbit (see above). Its appeal is understandable, but it is not for everyone. The church reminds out that many women’s proportions are unusually lengthy. So, heterosexual boys, you can rest easy tonight.

However, there are a few audience favorites, such as the Rabbit, that you should consider. The We-Vibe 4 Plus, which a woman can wear during intercourse, is Babeland’s most popular vibrator. It stimulates her both internally and externally, and her partner may sense it. It also has a smartphone app for remote control because everything comes with an app nowadays. Church suggests starting with something easy for the females, such as a bullet-style vibrator and a softer, silicone vibrator five to six inches long.

Know how to detect or smell a fake.

Sex toys have knockoffs, too, even if they aren’t sold on Canal St. People are also less reluctant to speak up if they receive counterfeit or defective goods, which simply perpetuates the problem. “Nobody tweets when something goes wrong with their sex item,” Church observes.

If you can’t bring yourself to walk into a store because your trench coat and wig are at the cleaners, remember that shopping online comes with its own set of risks. “Make sure [the product is] coming from the toy producer or direct distributor,” Church says. Many third-party websites, such as Amazon and eBay, are unregulated. There are toys with the same packaging and style, but the quality is inferior.” However, Babeland, Forbidden Fruit, and many other leading sex toy stores have websites, so start there.

Knockoff jelly toys will smell like gasoline or something that smells like cannabis, but not in a nice way. These products may have been made with harmful substances to the human body. So, before you stick it, take a sniff. Another key point to remember is that “novelty” toys are not meant to be used on the body.

Sex toys do not serve as a gateway drug.

You won’t become addicted to your fleshlight or vibrator. Relax. “Are you planning on going to work?” Church inquires, “Are you dealing with your life?” If this is the case, using your toy to relax does not need an intervention.

“People are concerned that their vibrators will desensitize them,” Church explains. That won’t happen, ladies and gentlemen, even if you use it frequently. According to Church, people may become accustomed to achieving orgasm in a specific method, whether with a toy or a particular position, but “our bodies and minds are elastic, and they’re continuously growing.” So, if you’re becoming overly reliant on a certain toy, switch it out and be patient. Your body will pick up on the cue and adjust.

Sex toys aren’t supposed to take anything away from experience, let alone anyone. As Church says, your dildo isn’t “some bionic cock” who will put your lover “out of work.” Sex toys are designed to enhance a sexual encounter, whether a single session or a couple’s getaway.

Leave a Comment